Not Another Charlie Sheen Blogpost!

Ugh. I caved into the pressure. No actually it was all the annoyance of the Charlie Sheen media fest that  caused my brain to reach critical mass and explode. This is what came out:

How in the heck is Dr. Drew able to get an hour-long show on an in-depth focus on Charlie Sheen? How in-depth are we talking? Is Mr. Sheen some closet scholar of the ancient world? Is he working on a cure for cancer? What are the depths to be plumbed? Is he mapping the human genome or exploring string theory? I’m having such a problem with Dr. Drew doing Charlie Sheen’s inventory for a whole hour. It’s not really exemplary of an approach that is good for behavior change and psychological healing. Has Dr. Drew the physician completely morphed into Dr. Drew the celebrity? It’s like the Star Trek episode when Captain Kirk got on that spinning thing and it created the clone Kirk. Hard to tell the difference…

But Dr. Drew determined from his examination of Mr. Sheen (he has HD you know) that he should be hospitalized. He was surprised that last time the cops dropped into the Sheen residence, Charlie didn’t get taken into police custody under code 5150 of the California Welfare and Institutions Code for treatment and evaluation. The only reason I know this code is from the  Van Halen album, which took its name from Eddie Van Halen’s studio. Wait a minute, from here I can connect to Valerie Bertinelli for one complete cycle of Six Degrees of Separation Charlie Sheen!

I don’t know if we necessarily need Dr. Drew to clue us in that Charlie Sheen has a tenuous grasp on sanity.

Is Dr. Drew just a publicity whore or a benevolent healer? I know, we can get Dr. Oz to do an hour-long in-depth and other profusely hyphenated terminology episode on that…

On second thought, skip the faux medical analyses and cut right to the chase: advance to Perez Hilton’s site for all things gossip. Come to think of it, I wish Perez had a handy Charlie Sheen timeline to see if he came in like a lion and will go out like a lamb by the end of the month!

Somebody get me a doctor


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